


Expendable

by fixusi



Category: Original Work
Genre: AI, Action, An attempt at ~romance~, And very traumatised, Dystopian, Gay, Hurt/Comfort, In which AIs are basically human, M/M, Oneshot, Romance, Short Story, Whump, queer, scifi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-02
Updated: 2021-01-02
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:00:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28506345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fixusi/pseuds/fixusi
Summary: Kane’s eyes are still alive. Right now, this version of him is here, and everything about him screams a will to live.I can’t let him lose that.As in — Aden might have just found a reason to stay alive.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Expendable

**Author's Note:**

> This is a short story I wrote a while ago! It’s an idea I kind of want to write a whole book out of, but it worked well as a short story as well, so that’s what it became. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

“I told you I’ll do it.”

A brief smile crosses Colonel Davie’s thin lips. He leans forward, pushes his elbows on the desk, and locks his fingers. “Look at you, Aden. That’s what I like to hear.”

It’s easy for this jackass to smile. He won’t be the one running head on to the enemy, no — he leaves it up to me. An  _ Expendable.  _

I scoff and turn away. “Sure. I’ll let you know how it goes.” 

As I make my way through his office, past the paintings and the maps and the huge collections of enemy helmets just collecting dust in big glass cabinets, Davie clears his throat. 

“This time, you’ll have a partner.”

My heart skips over a beat. I reach the door and stop, my brains repeating that last word like a stuck record player. 

A partner? For me? But— 

Davie laughs. His chair creaks, and heavy footsteps approach me. “It’s someone like you. I’m sure you’ll get along with it just fine.”

I don’t want to turn around but I do, and I meet Davie’s amused gaze. 

“Your mission requires two people,” he says, circles his desk, and leans his butt over the edge. He reaches into his chest pocket and pulls out a fat, brown cigar. “Or, well, not people. I wouldn’t risk my soldiers over this. That’s why it’s you two. Even if you die… Well, you know the drill.”

The familiar heat rises in my chest. I tense staring at him, at that smug face, as if he’s so much better than me just because every part of him came out of a womb. 

I didn’t ask for this.  _ Any _ of this. Not to be made, not to be put in this body, not to fight in this stupid war. 

“Fuck you.” The words slip out before I can register them. “I’m flesh and blood, the same as you.”

Colonel Davie pulls out a lighter, snaps his finger across the wheel, and lights his cigar. The cocky look on his face never wavers as he exhales a thick cloud of smoke that smells as disgusting as his personality. “Are you?”

_ Whatever.  _

“I’ll have someone let you know when I return,” I say, pushing out the door. 

“You’ll find your new partner from the armory,” Davie calls out, and I slam the door shut behind myself. His muffled voice yells: “You might find him familiar.”

xx

The guy in front of me is tall, probably half a head taller than I am. He’s muscular, too, the type of soldier that lives and breathes gym — and yet, when he looks down at me, he smiles the sweetest smile and offers me his hand. White paint, already dry, decorates the side of his palm.

“Hey,” he says. “Nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard a lot. I’m Kane June.”

With a polite smile, I grab his hand and shake it. “Aden May. Hopefully all things good?” 

‘Might find him familiar’? What the hell had Davie meant by that? This guy is a total stranger, and by the lively look in his eyes, he’s never been to a real battle before. He’s definitely never died before. How could I know him? 

Kane’s grin widens as he nods. He steps back as we let go of each other’s hands. “Dude, you’re like a legend to us down in the Third Floor. It’s an honor getting to go out with you.” 

The choice of words makes me laugh. “Let’s finish this mission first and we’ll see.” 

In a blink of an eye, his cheeks go from brown to red, and he falls back another step, lifting his hands up. “Shit, I mean, I don’t—”

“It’s okay, I know what you meant,” I say, still grinning, and turn to the rows of weapons on the wall. 

It’s unusually empty here in the armory — but figures, since the previous attack on the base killed more than twenty of us. Out of the five hundred specialists we started with over four years earlier, only seventy-six are still standing. 

It won’t be long until we lose. 

“So is this your first time out in the field?” I glance at Kane. He’s busy hiding his face in his hands. 

That’s… kind of cute. 

He nods, looking up. The blush on his cheeks is almost gone. “I wasn’t supposed to go today, either. I’m not done with my training yet.”

“Why did they make you come, then?” I ask, turning my focus back on the weapons, and swallow a sigh. 

A complete beginner on a mission our survival depends on. Davie really outdid himself. Does he want us both to die?

“The attack a few days ago,” Kane says. “They sent everyone out to defend the base. You’re the only Expendable who came back, right?” 

I pick a modified pistol from the rack. The faces of the others flash in my head, bleeding and screaming and dying—

A shiver runs down my back and I force the memory out. 

No matter. They’ll be reinserted into new bodies and come back. Probably tomorrow or the day after, with eyes that are a little bit deader than before. 

“That’s why,” Kane continues. “But you don’t need to worry about me. I was the top of my class. Outdid most the humans in every task. I’m not saying I’m as good as you, or will ever be, ’cause I mean… You’re a legend. But I can handle myself.”

I turn to face Kane, forcing a smile on my lips.

He stands there, such an innocent drive in his dark brown eyes. He doesn’t know anything yet, that much is certain. And after seeing what it’s really like out there, he will wish he had stayed oblivious.

But that’s not why they created us. People like the two of us aren’t here to be happy. 

Our bodies are expendable. Even if we die, we’ll never stay that way. Illness, bombing, suicide, it doesn’t matter; our suffering will never end because they’ll always bring us back, again and again, until we finally go crazy and destroy our code from the inside. They force us into living and dying for a world that doesn’t give a shit about artificials like us. It doesn’t matter our bodies, borrowed from the dead soldiers, are flesh and blood; our consciousness is fake, created from lines of code and a bunch of numbers, so to them, we are nothing. 

“When were you supposed to graduate?” I ask. 

“A week from now.”

At least he isn’t a complete beginner.

I hand him the gun. It has an extended clip; God knows he might need the extra ammo. “You know how to use it, right?”

He nods and pushes the gun down the holster on his waist. “Like I said, I can handle myself.”

“We’ll see.” I pause before continuing. “Hey, uh… This is a weird question, but you have any hobbies?”

He laughs, lifting his hand up to the back of his neck. “That’s fine. I mean, yeah, I guess. I like drawing. And painting, though I always make a huge mess. Why?”

“No reason.” I turn back to the weapons. “Get ready. We gotta leave the second it gets dark.”

“Aye, aye, captain.” There is a grin in his voice. 

Eventually, he’ll lose joy in everything. We all do; it’s only a matter of time until the truth gets to him. That there’s no hope for beings like us.

He’s still so innocent. Happy. Full of life.

I smile as I watch him bend over and tie his shoes, but a coldness creeps up my chest. My smile fades. 

He won’t stay innocent or happy for long. 

Nobody does. 

xx

“We should wait.”

I lift an eyebrow at Kane. In the blinding darkness, it’s only my night vision lenses allowing me to see him. 

He nods towards the open yard between us and the lone warehouse. It’s the size of a garage — inconspicuous by design to hide the fact it shelters some of the most important data known to man. Davie won’t tell me what exactly, because why on earth would an artificial need to know that? But it is the type of information that would help us even the playing field.

Behind the warehouse sits one of the tens of massive wooden barracks. Which enemy they belong to, I don’t know, but that doesn’t matter. What I know is that they’re filled to brim with soldiers, both human and artificial alike, ready to kill us both if things go wrong. 

“Doesn’t it seem too convenient to you?” Kane whispers. “Where’s the security? All the soldiers? The dogs?” 

“You’re saying it’s a trap?”

“Could be. I think we should wait and see what happens.”

I check the watch on my wrist; it’s already fifteen to five in the morning. Fifteen minutes until the whole base will wake up. Half an hour until the sun will rise. 

And if we go back empty-handed for no good reason, we’ll both get in deep trouble. 

If we wait and lose our only chance...

“Stay here. I’ll go get the case,” I say. The words make Kane tense. “If it turns out to be a trap, head back to base. Let Davie know.” 

“But you’ll—”

“Be reinserted,” I interrupt. “They’ve got a ton of bodies ready, and my memory was backed up a few hours ago. I’ll be fine.” 

Kane’s lips draw back. He stares at me, his breathing picking up. 

“Don’t forget what we are,” I say, keeping my voice stern. “This is what we do. It’s not my first time losing a body.”

“You mean dying.”

“Call it whatever you want. I’ll be back in a few days.”

“But it’s still painful, isn’t it? And you’ll remember it?” His tone borders desperate as he takes me by the wrist. “I really think we should—”

I snatch my arm back. 

Kane flinches. His eyes widen on me and his mouth opens, but he doesn’t say a word. 

The hurt expression on his face is like a dagger to my gut, but this is the only way, because he’s right. It will hurt and I will remember it, and I don’t want him to go through that. 

If he can just hold on to that innocence for a little while longer… 

I stand up. “Stay here. That’s an order. If something happens, head straight back to base and tell Colonel Davie. Don’t wait for me or try to help.”

Before Kane can argue, I turn around and jog off, an invisible fist squeezing my insides. 

This is why I don’t work with others. To send them to their deaths, to watch them go through that indescribable hell of a slow, painful death, just to meet them again a couple of days later… 

Their bodies are always different, but you can always tell who it is by the haunted look in their eyes. The eyes that lose more and more of their sparkle each time they get reinserted. 

Kane’s eyes are still alive. 

An artificial consciousness or not,  _ he  _ is alive, in body, mind, and spirit alike, and he deserves better than this. 

So I cross the yard to the warehouse; dig into my pocket and pull out the little device I can’t understand but can open any electric lock with; push it against the reader by the side of the heavy door and wait for the  _ click.  _

The door unlocks. I pocket the device and pull it open. 

There’s another click—

_ Shit.  _

My heart rushes to my throat and I spin around, swinging myself forward just as the bomb goes off. Something heavy hits my back and slams me to the gravel. 

For a moment, I can’t breathe. My body is on fire and every single cell inside me screams and trembles as hot waves of pain rush up and down my back. 

I’m not sure if I’m screaming, too. 

I roll onto my side. The pain flares in my back with the movement and I close my eyes, fighting the nausea rumbling in my gut. I let the back of my head hit the ground. Terror traps my breath and crushes my chest, and I squeeze my eyes shut tighter.

The ringing in my ear subsides and the blaring alarm takes over. A yell rips through the air. Gunshots follow it. 

Tears rush down my cheeks. The sobs don’t sound mine as they escape my throat. 

“Aden!” Kane screams. 

A hand takes me by the cheek. I lift my eyelids just enough to see the blurry outline of his face above mine. 

“Aden, come on, get the hell up!” 

Why? Why is he here? I told him to—

“I’m not leaving you behind! If you’re going to die here, both of us are going to die here,” he yells over the ringing of the guns and the blaring of the alarm. His eyes are on the enemy. “But I really, really don’t want to die here, so get the hell up!” 

I stare at him, unable to get my tongue moving. A warmth spreads in my chest but it, too, hurts, bringing tears to my already blurring eyes. 

What an idiot! Risking himself like this, and for what? Me? For a guy who has already died and been reinserted twelve times? A guy whose eyes have been dead for a long time already?

There’s nothing that’ll make me emptier than I already am. 

But Kane holds onto me tighter while exchanging bullets with the enemy I can’t be bothered to look at. There is a fire in his eyes, one filled with life and love and longing for something better. 

And I remember that look. 

The memory makes me pause. It’s from such a long time ago, he’s nothing but a hazy memory — one that I push away as soon as it surfaces. 

Doesn’t matter. 

Right now, this version of him is here, and everything about him screams a will to live. 

I can’t let him lose that. 

Especially not for my sake. 

“You idiot,” I manage to croak. Blood drips down the side of my head and splashes on the gravel. 

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he says, grabbing my arm. “Come on. I’ll carry you.”

xx

“You feeling okay?” Kane asks. My room is barely big enough for a bed and a desk, but somehow, Kane managed to fit a chair by my bed. 

I sigh. “Peachy. You know, I might be the first artificial person to ever get dragged back from a battlefield.”

“That’s what I don’t get,” he says. “We’re people too. We should be protected just like the ones without a chip for consciousness.”

The grin that spreads on my lips is involuntary. I close my eyes. 

Some day, he’ll know better than to wait for that sort of miracle. 

Kane shifts on his chair. “It’s fucked up. Why is it like this? Why can’t we be equals with them?”

“Because they created us,” I say. “People can’t even accept other humans as equal. You really think they’d think lines of code are as valuable as they are? To them, we’re just smart, immortal weapons.” 

He huffs. “Maybe right now, but who knows what the future brings?” 

I open my mouth to reply when the door to my room clicks and opens. I push myself on my elbows, but a sharp spike of pain makes me grunt and fall back down. I squeeze my eyes shut and lift my hands up to my face as the pain burns me to my core—

“Take it easy,” Kane whispers. He lays a hand on my chest. “Breathe. You’ll be okay.”

The plethora of curses slip past my lips. “Yeah, I’m fucking trying—”

“Have you two forgotten your manners?” Davie’s harsh voice calls from the doorway. 

_ Great. _

Kane shoots up to his feet so fast his chair tips over. The clatter echoes around the room. “No, sir. I’m sorry, sir. Welcome,” he says and bows.

“At ease,” Davie says and steps further in. Now, I can see him, too—he’s holding a thin file in hand—and as our eyes meet, he nods. “Aden.”

“What the hell are you doing here? I don’t remember inviting you,” I say. My voice is tense as the pain throbs around my spine, and I can’t give two shits about what this asshole of a human being thinks of me. “Got all your other soldiers killed so you had to come down here yourself?”

Kane shoots me a horrified glance. Most likely, he has never seen an Expendable talk back to a human, especially not a human of as high ranking as Davie, but that’s not my problem. 

This is my room, and this dick is the last person I want to see. 

“You have always been an exceptional soldier,” Davie says, his eyes narrowing on me. “That is why I’ve let you get away with things nobody else ever would’ve. Your disrespectful attitude, for example. But I am getting  _ very  _ tired of you.” 

Well, that’s a threat. 

Does he still think he has the power to hurt me? That there is something he can do that would make my existence any more miserable than it already is?

But he’ll never leave if I keep pissing him off, so I sigh and nod. “Sorry.” 

Davie doesn’t look satisfied, but he takes a step further in and waves the file in the air. “These are the results of your medical examination. Your injuries are severe, to say the least.”

There is a question in Kane’s eyes as his gaze travels between me and Davie, but he doesn’t ask it out loud. 

It doesn’t take a genius to figure out his question, though. 

_ What now? _

“It is treatable, yes, but even with the best doctors and extensive physical therapy, it would take several months for you to be able to fight again. Years, most likely,” Davie says and tosses the file onto my bed. “See for yourself.”

“No need.” I flash him a sarcastic smile. “I can feel it just fine.” 

“Suit yourself,” Davie says. “You know what this means.”

Even a child knows what it means. 

Even if they could wait that long for this body to get back in fighting order, they wouldn’t waste such precious resources on an Expendable. Even our bodies are from the fallen soldiers, for hell’s sake; because we are not important enough to waste precious metals on. Why would they waste time and medicine on us when there are plenty of usable corpses coming in every single week; when they can simply kill the body and transfer us?

“I’ll contact the lab,” Davie says and turns for the door. “I’ll have them prepare a new body for you, and—”

“What? No!” Kane snaps. 

Davie stops and turns his widening gaze to Kane. So do I.

He’s breathing shallow and fast, a different kind of fire in his eyes — he’s glaring at Davie, unafraid and strong, his entire body tensing. 

He’s just like  _ him.  _ The man from those hazy memories. 

Was that what Davie had meant by ‘familiar’? Is there something more to him and I? 

“He is not some mindless puppet you can force into this! Into dying whenever it’s most convenient for you!” Kane yells. By the look on his twisting face, it’s a surprise he doesn’t shove Davie into the wall. “He’s not some robot! He’s a human, just like you, and you can’t treat him like—”

A slap across the cheek shuts him up. 

Davie grabs Kane by the collar of his shirt so hard it rips from the seam, and yanks him closer. 

Kane’s eyes widen, but as he blinks, the shock disappears and the burning anger rises in its place.

“Do not speak to me like that,” Davie snarls. His tone is beyond a threat — it’s a  _ promise _ . “You hear me, soldier?”

“Yessir,” Kane hisses through clenched fists and gritted teeth. 

I stare at the two, frozen in place, my heart pounding in my sore chest.

What the hell is Kane doing? Doesn’t he know what happens to disobedient Expendables? He can’t be this stupid!

Davie releases Kane with a shove, scoffs, and heads for the door. “I’ll send someone in to finish that body. And Kane…” He stops at the door to look at him, icy hatred in his gaze. “You better behave when they come. I have deleted your kind for less.”

Davie steps outside and slams the door shut. As the echo of the blam fades, a second passes in silence. 

Then another. 

And another—

Before Kane drops down on his chair, groaning, and pushes his hands up against his face so hard, his cheeks mush into his eyes. “God. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. It’s just… This...” He falls quiet with another frustrated groan. 

I watch him, something weird spreading in my chest. Something I can’t figure out. 

Why does he care so much about what happens to me? 

“This is wrong,” he finally says, drops his hands, and meets my gaze. There are tears in his eyes. 

The sight makes my lungs trap my breath. 

“This is wrong! It’s like we’re worth nothing but what we can do for them!” he continues. Frustration and anger boil in his tone. “I know I’m new, but I want more. I want to be more than their weapon who lives and dies when they want it! And I hate that I can’t have any of it. How is this fair? We’re just like them! Fuck!”

He slams his hands on his knees and doubles, hiding his face into his hands. 

I stare at him, a lump in my throat, knowing I should say something, but what even is there? 

‘ _ I’m sorry _ ’? ‘ _ It’ll be okay _ ’? ‘ _ Don’t cry _ ’? 

Those are just bunch of meaningless words. But I have to try. 

“It’s okay,” I say.

“Sorry.” Kane lifts his gaze back up to me and laughs weakly. Tears glimmer in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just… I hate this. You know? Hate they can use us like this. But what do I know?” He pauses to draw in a deep breath. “You’re the expert here, and I’m a newbie who just got out of his first assignment. So if you say it’s okay, that this isn’t that bad, then…” 

_ Don’t,  _ I want to say.  _ Don’t believe me. _

He forces a smile. Though he tries, it isn’t enough to mask the defeat in his eyes. “Then, I’ll believe you.” 

Those words, that look… 

My heart wrenches. 

And from the bottom of it, I want to tell him that it is indeed okay, that dying and coming back is really not that bad and I’m used to it — to save the innocence in his eyes and let him be happy for a little while longer. To face tomorrow with the same joy and honest optimism I’d seen in those same eyes half a day earlier. 

To not cry for me. 

But this isn’t okay, and if I tell him that it is, if I lie to him, it’ll only hurt more when it’s him lying on the ground, bleeding to a meaningless death. 

Yet, there is no other choice, because I won’t be the one to destroy that innocence. I can’t be.

He is all I’ve lost. All I can never regain. And if he can remain happy for a week, a day, or,  _ hell _ , even an hour longer, the lie is worth it. 

Tears rise to my eyes as I force a smile that rips my heart in two. “You know, it’s actually not that—”

“We could run away.”

His words stop me dead on my tracks. 

Kane lifts his gaze to me. There it is again — that fire in his eyes, that drive to live and find something better. He wipes the tears away and nods. “We can,” he says, and he is so sure of his words that my heart beats a little faster. 

Could we? 

“I mean it,” he says. “We can just get up and leave. They’re not gonna waste soldiers on trying to find us.” 

I stare at him, unable to utter a word. 

Running away. 

It’s been a long time since I last thought about that. 

“I know you’re injured, but we can do it,” he continues. His words come out faster and faster as desperation and excitement grow in his tone. “I’ll steal a wheelchair, or— or I’ll carry you on my back, or whatever you need! But we can do it. I swear, we can.”

“Why?” is all I can ask. 

He smiles, looking like he thinks I’m an idiot. “Because you deserve better than this.”

I scoff. It’s unfair for him to use my own thoughts against myself.

“Also, don’t think I’m stupid. I saw it in your eyes out there, when you pushed me away and went out on your own,” he continues. “You didn’t want me to get hurt, right? But it would’ve gotten us both in trouble to come back empty-handed, so you went ahead and sacrificed yourself.” 

A heat rises to my cheeks. I can’t help the laugh. “I didn’t know I was so easy to read.”

“So I’m right?” he asks. 

I hesitate. 

The truth will hurt him. It will. But he isn’t an idiot, and I can’t keep lying to him after he’s already figured out the truth.

So I close my eyes. 

“Dying, it’s… It’s agony.” My voice is a whisper as the words fight me. “It leaves you scarred and empty and terrified of it happening again, and the worst part is… You know it will. That there’s no ending it. No matter how many times you die, you’ll always come back. And I… I didn’t want you to go through it.”

Kane’s breathing picks up. “How many times have you…?”

“Twelve.”

“Shit.”

Warm fingers curl around mine. I open my eyes to look at him sitting right there next to me. The fire in his gaze is warm now. It’s hopeful and confident and kind, and a part of me melts — a part I had forgotten exists. 

“So what do you say?” he asks. “If we run, neither of us will have to worry about dying again. We can go somewhere safe.”

“If we get caught, they’ll reset us,” I remind him, even though I’m not sure I fear that possibility. 

That fire in him... 

My heart picks up the pace. 

What if he’s right? What if we could run? 

“And if we stay, we’ll never be anything but their slaves to live and die at their command,” Kane says. “I really think it’s worth the risk. We either make it or nothing changes.” 

I don’t let the rushing of my heart show. “Where could we even go?”

“Well, I heard they aren’t fighting in Iceland.”

I can’t help the burst of laughter. It sends a flare of pain down my gut, turning my laughing into airy gasps as I squeeze my eyes shut once more. 

“Iceland, huh?” I manage. “That’s— That’s a long way from here.”

Kane’s hold of my hand tightens as the grin on his lips widens. “It’s just a hop and a skip and a boat-ride away. I heard they’re taking refugees from all over the world, and they have no laws regarding artificial people. Aden, we could be real people there. There’d be no more this— This, dying and fighting and being all miserable. And I know I’m a newbie who has no idea what it’s like, but out there today with you? I saw enough. I don’t want this, and I know you don’t want it either. When that warehouse blew up… You were screaming and I was terrified. And that asshole’s just gonna kill you? Put you through all that agony like you’re worth nothing, after everything you’ve done for him? To hell with that! We deserve better.  _ You  _ deserve better.”

The pain eases and I lift my gaze to him. Thar confident, hopeful glimmer in his dark brown eyes makes me smile. 

How could I ever kill that sparkle? 

“Okay,” I say, and it’s the easiest word I’ve ever said. 

Kane gasps, snapping upright. “That’s—”

“ _ But, _ ” I interrupt, “let’s wait for me to get into my new body first. After that, we have to get out and destroy our backups. I mean, what good does it do if we’re killed somewhere out there and just get reborn here again?” 

He furrows his brows at me, though the excitement never really disappears. “Are you sure? About the new body, I mean.”

“My back’s broken. I can barely wiggle my toes. If we want to go, I need a new one.”

“But what about the pain and the scars and—”

“It’ll be different this time.” I slip my hand out of his grasp, and smack him across the forehead. “Because it’s for  _ me _ . Not them.” 

A shy smile rises on Kane’s lips. He nods. “If you’re sure. Tell me what I need to do.”

xx

“Did you know that we were designed to yearn freedom?” Kane asks. He lies next to me, his hands behind his head as a pillow. “I saw it when I hacked in to delete our files.” 

Waves beat against the sides of the ship in a rhythm I never want to end. Chatter echoes from somewhere far away, but here, on this empty, dark deck at the rear of the massive ship, there’s no one but us. The milky way crosses the pitch black sky, and I realize this is the first time I’ve ever seen it. 

I keep my gaze on the sea of stars. “Well, that came back to bite them in the ass.” 

Kane sighs. “It kinda makes me wonder how real I am. Do I only want this because they designed me to want this?” 

A smile grows on my lips. I roll over onto my side, closer to him. “You think too much. But the answer is no.” 

He turns a bit more sideways and faces me, a grin crossing his face. “You sound sure.”

“I am,” I say, shrugging as well as my position lets me. “You were the one who said it first. We’re people, just like them. Who cares what they designed us to be? We already defied it.” 

He lifts an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

In the darkness, his eyes are almost black; and as gorgeous as the stars are, I don’t want to turn my gaze from him.

I clear my throat. 

_ Focus, Aden.  _

“I mean, we were designed to be the perfect soldiers,” I say. “We were designed to fight, to yearn to win the war, to find that sort of freedom. We weren’t meant to disobey our leaders or run away. We weren’t designed to do any of that, and yet, here we are.” 

I roll onto my back, lifting my gaze up to the stars. 

They really can’t compare to his eyes. 

Kane’s voice is soft as he laughs. “Okay, yeah, since you put it that way. Maybe I do think too much.” 

“You most definitely do.”

“But why did we start disobeying them?” he asks. “And when? They’re our creators, so couldn’t they nip it in the bud? Make changes to our code and that’s that?”

I shrug. “Maybe they just don’t care. As long as people keep dying, they can make more of us, so even if a few disobey and run, it’s no issue.”

“Huh,” Kane says. “That makes sense. I guess.”

Silence falls on us. 

It’s been a long time since I could lie down and watch the stars like this. So long, I don’t even want to think back to it. 

The memories of my first lives are hazy. Back when I was nothing but a thing, an  _ object _ only practicing independent thought, decades before the war ever started. 

But no matter how hazy my memories are, I remember him. In another body, yes, but I remember a man just like him by my side. A man with the same fire in his eyes, the same kindness in his tone, and the same need for freedom. A man who taught me hope. A man who made my smile a little brighter and my heart beat a little faster. 

Was this designed? 

Kane moves closer to me. He brings his hand to my palm and curls his fingers around mine. I smile and return the hold as my heart fills with something he’d reminded me I could feel. 

Nah. 

There is no way anyone could design a feeling like this. 

I turn my head to sneak a glance at him, but his eyes are already on me. 

He grins. “You look happy. Relaxed.”

“You too,” I say. 

“Well, I am,” he says. “Nobody’s gonna force us into anything ever again. And when we die, we’ll die. There’s no code to bring us back to that hell anymore. And Iceland’s only a few more hours away. We made it. What’s there to worry or feel shitty about? And yeah, anything could happen, but whatever waits for us in Iceland… It’s gotta be better than what we had.” 

The smile on my lips widens, because he’s right. We have hope, and for the first time in forever, my eyes can sparkle again. 


End file.
